The last post here at Messy Miscreation was back in April of this year and there are many reasons to that. The last time I properly sat down and created artwork for any project was for the Wellcome Collection in July [posted in August] but unfortunately my life took a turn I didn’t foresee.
I moved house from a student home (despite not being one) to a new flat for just my partner and me in mid June and promptly began to go through the usual feelings I experience during change. It was a new area to learn and the general upset of losing my routine that disrupted me the most but then sadly this wasn’t whats caused the issues.
On July 14th I was feeling a lot of anxiety while sat in the flat. I wasn’t yet used to the bumps and normal day to day sounds so I decided to take the advice from previous therapy sessions and decided to go for a walk. While out on the walk playing Pokemon Go my phone was snatched from my hand from a moped that had driven up the pavement behind me. The force of the swipe broke the wrist strap from my hand and the headphone wire from the headset leaving me with no means of getting help.
I was in a new area where I didn’t know anybody with no means of calling without a phone so I had to rush home and undergo the process of changing passwords and locking them out of my phone.
My phone could have been stolen by anyone but the reason this caused me harm was not the loss of a possession but the loss of the coping strategies put in place using it. It has taken me months to get my life back into place enough for me to get to and from work without anxiety spikes and a fear of bike sounds. I have had to return to my medication and the teeth grinding issues where made so much worse that I had to have a massive fix at the dentist recently.
It’s only now in October that I can say I’m beginning to find my footing once again and want to return to working on new projects and paintings. Messy Miscreation was created as a way for me to talk about mental health and it eventually progressed to talking about life on the autistic spectrum. This traumatic experience is just another way to show the impacts of such events and how they can affect all aspects of your life. It’s this honesty I pride myself in and I know if I had pushed doing artwork on top of work and general self care I simply would have crashed.
My teeth have been fixed and my medication has kicked in so now is the time to begin adding painting back into the equation while working on fixing up the online store with a little polish. I have multiple projects I want to start, potentially talking about this narrative in my life so that is where I’m going to start.
I want everyone to know that I am okay and getting better. I have a support network of friends keeping me up when i’m at my lowest and I can get passed this. The explanation of my absence is important for me to get out of my system and onto a page. Keep your eyes peeled for new things coming soon.